Although he was born into a religious Christian family, Gary never felt satisfied with what he was taught about faith. “I wanted to hear what Jesus said, but I only heard what the preacher or my grandmother said instead,” he recalls. He became alienated from religion at a young age and began to spend time with the wrong people. He landed in prison while still in his teens.

It was in that prison where he first encountered Islam. He heard Muslims praying in another cell and their recitation of the Fatiha resonated with his heart, though he did not understand a word of it. Gary felt compelled to learn more and picked up a translation of the Qur’an.

To his surprise, the Qur’an answered his questions about faith, one after another. After a year of study (now back in free society), Gary took his shahada and changed his name to Isa.

Accepting Islam and still landing in prison

It wasn’t a smooth road ahead. Isa lacked access to learning more about his deen - there was no Muslim community in the area and he didn’t know any Muslims who could teach him. Unable to even learn how to pray, he lived as a Muslim in name only and kept to the same criminal company as before. This soon brought him back to prison.

Like many white converts, Isa struggled behind bars. On the one hand, he was largely an outcast in the overwhelmingly black Muslim prison community. On the other hand, he was under attack from other white prisoners for “trying to be black” and regularly got into fistfights with them.

Finding knowledge in the strangest of places

Ironically, prison was also a place where he could learn more about Islam. In spite of the fact that North Carolina prisons do not provide chaplains for Muslims, which often results in many of the incarcerated following non-traditional Islamic movements, there were still materials available in the prison library. There were also Muslims of whom he could ask questions about the religion. 

Through his love of reading and learning, Isa soon learned about Tayba. He found a Tayba book of Maliki fiqh at the prison library and, when he realized that there was an entire curriculum available, he immediately requested coursework. Though the semester had already begun, he convinced the Tayba team to send him materials and has taken 2-3 courses every semester since. He has now completed the entire Tayba curriculum and is one of the most advanced students we have ever worked with.

“I’m a completely different person”

For Isa, “The most important part of learning is putting it into practice.” His intense study made him a different man. Today, thanks to his knowledge and character, he is well-respected by his Muslim community, regardless of his skin color. Even other white prisoners gained respect for him after seeing the acceptance he receives from the black community. In fact, one even took shahadah through him. The change has been so dramatic that he decided to change his name one more time - to Muhammad Abdul Rahim - signifying a new chapter in his life. He chose the name Muhammad because he felt that he owed his salvation to the Prophet ﷺ , and Abdul Rahim because the only way he could be thankful to Allah is to realize that he could not be thankful enough for the mercy bestowed upon him.

25 years a Muslim and his mother still tells him he’s going to hell

When he first became Muslim, Muhammad’s parents kicked him out of the house. He has been Muslim for 25 years, yet little has changed. Although they feel obligated to maintain relations with him, his mother rarely fails to tell him that he is bound for hell during their conversations. When he was in free society, he would mow his parents’ lawn and was not allowed to pray inside the house when the time for prayer came. 

Thanks to studying the Rights of Parents course from Tayba, Muhammad continues to treat his family better than anyone else in his life, despite their treatment of him. His efforts have not yet been reciprocated.

Restarting his life with $45, no home, and no support

We do have some good news: Muhammad will be released from prison in just a few months, insha’Allah. Because he is in North Carolina, his re-entry process is bound to be a struggle. The state of North Carolina puts no effort into rehabilitating prisoners; it considers its job done once a prisoner steps outside the compound gates. Though Muhammad is required to attend parole officer meetings and pay for them out of his own pocket, they offer no assistance with housing or employment.

When he steps through the prison gates and into freedom, he will be given just $45 - not even enough to cover the fee of his first meeting with a parole officer. As his family will not allow him to live with them, he will have to stay in a halfway house, which also comes with rent costs. Finding employment as soon as possible will be critical, but Muhammad says that his first and foremost concern will be finding a Muslim community to join. In fact, he has already reached out to the masjid closest to his halfway house. Thankfully, they are familiar with incarcerated Muslims (and with the Tayba Foundation) and will be happy to receive him, insha’Allah.

Muhammad previously worked as a computer technician and would like to resume that occupation once he is released, insha’Allah. He also hopes to get married someday, raise children, and eventually spoil his grandchildren. For now, he is simply looking forward to being free, to being able to pray at the masjid, and to start giving back to the Muslim community that has given him so much.